The Star 2: Celebrating Close Bond with Grandparents

This article is a throw back from June 2015. Little Reya and my parents were featured in The Star 2 paper.

The article is about the bond that every grandparents and grandchildren have through all stages of life and how beautiful it can be. For Reya she is super lucky as she is growing up with the person who truly loves her whole heartedly. Unlike for me and my little brother who lives with the babysitter when my mom works.

Read on : http://www.star2.com/family/2015/06/12/celebrating-close-bonds-with-grandparents/

This article is dedicated for Little Reya.

Bye Bye Pacifier @ 4.5 years old

Little Reya used to thumb suck since in womb. When we did 3D ultrasound scanning the sonographer told us see your girl is thumb sucking. That was cuteness overloaded and we didn't realise we will have rough journey with that habit.

Week 1 after my delivery i realise that little reya's urge for thumb sucking is so strong that literally i had to breast feed her continuously The urge to thumb suck and after so many sleep less nights i resorted to the much difficult decision which is the pacifiers. I have to admit that it was easy when she were using her paci and she slept well through night. She seems more calm and happy there after. Little did i know she will continue to have it longer than what we have expected.

I have tried to wean her off several time but often she will be crying continuously and being me i will always gave in. I would say that she were so obsessed with her paci. We were nearly gave up with the weaning idea altogether. I have tried all the methods listed online turning cold turkey, making it taste bad with oil and poking holes on it. Despite all the effort above i still failed as she did not buy in to the idea of letting it go and nothing works.

Lately we realise she developed a habit to having the paci all the time.. seeing a 4 year old toddler running around with paci is really not a good sight and deep down in my heart i feel really bad and guilty to introduce the paci for her when she was young.

Everyone we met will ask, she is such a big girl and why she still having paci and we have to keep telling everyone that she is sleepy, its her nap time and all sort of stories. I don't understand why parents/community nowadays wants everything so perfect with the children to the extent that undue pressure is on the kids. For me no one graduated from university wearing a diaper and using a pacifier.

So the key here is when the time comes they will know they will have to let go their baby moments. For Reya it was so magical that she just let it go in one day and without any fuss or cries. We were so surprised that she decided she don't need that anymore.

How it stops??

We went for a holiday and once be back everything was normal and usual with Reya. After few days, Little Reya had some sores in her mouth. We went to the Dr. and been prescribed with some ointments. She also had to drink lots of water. I have told her that she has to let go her paci and the sores will go on its own. She just slept through the night without asking for her paci at all.

After than that day she did not ask for paci at all and i gladly packed it and throw away all of them. Now Little Reya is pacifier free. I am also glad that i didn't force through it and cause unnecessary trauma and stress on her. Weaning process will be lots more easier if the kids them selves are ready and trust me the time will come.

There is an opinion diverge where according to an article by www.parents.com:  Ending to pacifiers :

Children willingly will be ready to let go their pacifiers around age 3 and 4 years old. So parents out there, once your child is potty trained and weaned than pacifiers will be the last thing to go. According to Dr. Dowell it is tolerant attitude.
Experts have agreed that they are entirely soothing for babies and limit it once child is 2 years old and eliminating it by 4 years old to avoid dental problems. Beyond that there is no hard and fast rules to say bye-bye paci.

I'm happy that i have let Reya to be who she is and didn't force her to let it go as each children have different level of sucking urge and ways to manage stress.

As a parent i knew i have made a right choice for me and my awesome little girl!!!

Parenting Skills: 5 Important Advice

Being a parent is not easy at all. Most of the time our deeds and way of doing things gives an impact to our surroundings and members of family. Nevertheless,  little ones who will be affected the most by our behaviors. It tend to impact them in way that they grow up.

Following the flow of hustle bustle of life and often overlooked on whether we are showing good examples in being a better human to our children. Lets refresh and make sure to hold on to the best advice by the famous Sadhguru.

1) Creating good ambience. Good atmosphere for nurturing the little human beings is by giving them the love and support needed that will automatically let the intelligence in them grow. Right ambience here consist of little sense of joy, love, care and discipline.

2) Knowing what the child needs and avoid putting them under due stress and hardship. We can't be the parent who wants our children achieve what we missed in our life and also the parents who pamper and make the children useless and powerless to live in this challenging world. We have to practice moderateness in setting expectations on them. Know what inspires them and what the wants in life

"Once, there was a yogi who belonged to a certain tradition called Kashmir Shaivism. This is one of the seven forms of yoga. It is a very powerful form, but it has mostly remained in the Kashmir area, so it acquired that name. One day, this yogi saw a cocoon which was slightly cracked, and the butterfly inside was really struggling to come out – the cocoon shell was too hard. Usually, the butterfly struggles constantly for almost forty-eight hours to come out of the cocoon. If it does not come out, it will die. The yogi saw this and out of his compassion he used his nail and opened the cocoon so that the butterfly could come free. But when it came out, it could not fly. It is that struggle to break out of the cocoon which empowers the butterfly to use its wings and fly. What is the use of a butterfly that cannot fly? A lot of people, in what they think is love for their children, have made their children like this. The children don’t fly in their life." ~ Sadhguru

3) To try and learn from children. This is very meaningful and deep. I often carried out in pretext of being her teacher rather than enjoying the moments with her. There are lot of things in my bucket list that i wanted to do with her during toddler years which i have still missed. Its good that sometimes we let go and be like them.. just enjoy the moment and be happy.

4) Just let them be.. oh yeah.. i would say i failed in this. When we raise the children it have to be in a way that they should be independent and never have a need for a parent. But Little Reya will be always tagging along with me most of the time. Though she is 4 years old now, she still practically awaits for me in front of bathroom some times for me to finish my bath and plays with her.

5) Last but not the least and as said always be a joyful parent and transform own self. Avoid tensions, anger, fear and jealousy. Its good to change yourself before changing how you want your child to be and it can be done with full of wisdom.

For more detailed write up on this awesome parenting skills, please do visit: http://isha.sadhguru.org/blog/lifestyle/relationships/parenting-advice-skills/.

Thank you for reading!